Not A Typical Friday
by IcHa-IcHa-yaoi-KZ-style
Summary: Every Friday, the Konoha nin get together for some...bonding. It is not a typical Friday, as two mysterious ANBU have coerced everyone into a perfectly innocent 'interview! Nosebleeds, markers, punches! WE BASH ALL NIN! Cowriter: Stealer of Shino's Glass
1. Dynamic entry!

Alright this is an idea that popped into my mind while I was playing DDR. A Naruto interview show! Alright so it's more of a twisted confession, but they are about the same thing, so it shouldn't make such a big difference…. Hehehe (sweatdrop) ON WITH IT!

* * *

A female ANBU guard walked into the gigantic room, where many ninjas, young and old alike, sat chattering to themselves. She hopped onto stage and tapped the mike, her voice coming muffled from behind the monkey mask.

"Alright, it's Friday again." This was accompanied by a bunch of shouts and cheering from the older ninjas.

"You know what we do every Friday…" More cheers were heard and the new young members of the audience looked around scared.

"I know we have to have that re-match, too many people passed out to know who won last time," There were disappointed murmurs and groans from all the older ninja.

"BUT! tonight we have a special treat for you! An interview with Konoha's finest! And not just any interviews, but 'special' ones…." You could feel the smirk under her mask. The old ones sighed a bit, the young ones looked very relieved.

"First up, we have Hatake Kakashi!" Cheers and a few catcalls were heard as the silver haired Jounin came out and sat in the chair opposite the girl ANBU.

"So Kakashi… You are one of the most mysterious and most sought out ninja in all of Konoha, women faint at your touch, even men turn their heads… do you have feelings for anyone?" She asked, long spiky orange hair swishing a bit as she tilted her head.

Kakashi showed little emotion, but tensed a bit at her blunt question. "Well... I care about my students and the village."

The ANBU decided to go a different road, vowing to come back to the other one later,

"Why do you read Icha Icha?"

Kakashi smirked and said, "Why do half the Shinobi read it?" Which resulted in more cheers and a few screams.

The ANBU sweatdropped a bit at his answers but refused to give in. "Don't you have anyone you could date? Are you too lazy reading porn to actually think about pursuing someone?"

Kakashi shrugged a bit then swallowed. "It's nothing against you all, it's just I don't…"

The ANBU's eyes narrowed then smirked. "Your pulse is jumping, you are nervous…you DO like someone…"

Kakashi looked around a bit…analyzing possible escape routes.

"It's Gai isn't it?" She asked and he stared at her….a look of horror on his features under his mask. The crowd was completely silent also, most too shocked to even blink.

Gai flew out of nowhere screaming "DYNAMIC ENTRY!" before kicking her into the wall.

The ANBU staggered upright, wincing as she felt the bruises that wracked her body. "Alright…so it isn't Gai…who then?"

But Kakashi was nowhere to be seen, having disappeared in a puff of smoke. The girl sighed then said, "It seems Kakashi is too shy to admit who he likes… Well we may as well-"A large kunai was sent at her from the window and she ducked, grabbing the tag on it and scanning it.

A small stream of blood trickled from under her mask. "Shinobi of Konoha… a mysterious source has just reported some interesting news. Apparently last Saturday, Kakashi was seen entering a household, and not leaving until the afternoon after. With wrinkled clothes I might add." The ninja exchanged looks, some happy, some smirking and murmurs erupted. The ANBU paused dramatically. The ninja were all sitting on their seats in anticipation. "The house he was seen leaving was no other than…"

She pointed to a face in the crowd. "IRUKA-SENSAI!!"

* * *

Bwahahahahahahahahaha, sorry I had to do it! I am a true yaoi fangirl at heart. Anyway that was only part 1 of the first chapter. Part two of the first chapter will come out later! See ya! Review too….that would be good.


	2. Hammered? XD

Aw come on! Only one review! I feel unloved…

Don't own Naruto and part of this I borrowed from VantheKeyofLain at Y! Gallery, hehe thanks a bunch n.n

* * *

She pointed to a face in the crowd. "IRUKA-SENSAI!!!"

Half the Shinobi in the crowd sported nosebleeds and fainted at the idea.

Iruka got up, vein throbbing. "WHAT?!??!!! NOTHING HAPPENED!!"

The female ANBU on stage gave an innocent pose. "Would you care to enlighten us then Umino Iruka?"

Iruka growled and got up, coming onto the stage and sitting down.

"So, Iruka what were you doing that night? I distinctly remember you looked tired but happy."

There were smirks and chuckles all around. Iruka sighed and rubbed his scar. "Well if you must know; that night Kakashi had came back from a mission, it was a rough one, and he needed to unwind, so he came over. I spent all night and some of that morning, getting plowed."

There was dead silence, followed by cheers, catcalls and fountains of blood. "NO! I mean hammered!!!"

All but three people had fainted and those three were calling their friends in other villages; "WE WERE ONLY DRINKING!!" The Chunnin bellowed, before storming out, kicking everyone who was in his way, muttering about perverts.

* * *

Please stand by while we revive everyone

* * *

So the blood had been mopped up, the Shinobi with too much lost had been taken to the hospital, and the show went on.

"Well, I can honestly say I was not expecting that, but we shall move on all the same." The ANBU announced.

"Alright, up next we have Uchiha Sasuke!" No one came up. The girl turned away from the mike and growled to her manager,

"Where is he?" The manager shrugged.

"Alright, it seems he isn't here right now, but we will get him here for you later." She promised to the Crowd.

* * *

Alright, I need feedback! Who should be next? Do you have any pervy ideas?! PM ME WITH ANYTHING YOU GOT!!!

IcHa IcHa KZ OUT!


	3. Like Likes you

Alright, I have two loyal reviewers! HURRAY! COOKIES FOR YOU!!

I no own Naruto, if I did, Gai, Lee and Chouji would be MINE! I wish I owned Naruto.

* * *

Not to be deterred, the female ANBU scanned the crowd, looking for a vict- er a volunteer.

"Alright, while our manager goes searching for Sasuke, we have Hinata Hyuuga to interview!"

The white eyed girl gave the ANBU a deer-in-the-headlights look as she was herded onto the stage.

"Welcome Hinata." The ABU said in kind tone.

"H-h-hello." She muttered, looking down.

"So Hinata…everyone in the room knows you like Naruto," She paused as Hinata spluttered and blushed, "So would you like some help admitting your feelings?"

Hinata kept her head low. "I- I didn't think it was that obvious."

The ANBU gave the camera an incredulous look. "The only one who does not know is Naruto himself, and that's because he doesn't really know what love is. He has had a lonely life, that's why most of us," She gestured to the crowd, "Want to see him happy. Therefore, we will help you out. Oh Naruto!"

A confused Naruto walked onto stage. "Hey what gives lady? I was promised all you could eat ramen if I came here! Where is it?!"

The ANBU sighed. "Naruto, Hinata has something to tell you."

The blonde looked at the blushing trembling mess that was Hinata. "Are you okay Hinata, you look sick."

The ANBU fell to the ground.

"Um-n-no Naruto…I'm f-f-ine." Hinata mumbled.

Naruto got closer. "Alright, if you say so. What did you want to tell me?"

Hinata blushed an even deeper shade of red and began stuttering even more. "I l-l-l-l-like y-y-you…"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I like you too Hinata…you one of the best friends I could ever have."

The ANBU had had enough. She whapped him with her fist and said, "NOT LIKE THAT! SHE LIKE LIKES YOU!"

Naruto stopped cradling his head and looked over at Hinata. "Really?"

Hinata pointed her fingers together, "Y-yes."

Naruto chuckled, "Why didn't you ever say so?"

She gave a half smile and looked at the ground. "I-I'm not b-b-rave like you, I could n-never do it."

Naruto gave a foxy grin and wrapped an arm around her. "Come on, let's go get some ramen."

The pair left and the ANBU smiled under her mask at them all. "Alright, you can say it now."

The whole crowd went, "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! KAWAII!!"

The ANBU put a hand on the mike. "Yeah, I think I got a cavity from that. Alright, we are going to take a quick break, but after, we will have ROCK LEE!"

* * *

Alright, that was too fluffy...no more biscuts for me. Fluffy food makes me write fluff. I'd better make some lemonade. XD

KZ OUT!


	4. Boxers of Briefs?

Alright it has taken me forever to update and I am truly sorry for that. However, I am hoping to post several more chapters in the following week to compensate.

I own not Naruto

* * *

The ANBU walked merrily on stage and grinned at her fellow ninja. "Alright, thank you for your patience. Now we have Rock Lee here to "interview". " She made air quotes around her mike. 

Backstage the crew finally released Lee who came flying at the ANBU, a barrage of punches and kicks flying. "How dare you accuse Gai-Sensei of such dishonorable actions with his eternal rival!!!"

The ANBU had finally managed to block some of his kicks and punches and shouted "LEE! ALRIGHT! I GET IT!"

He paused momentarily to begin to unwind his bandages. The ANBU let out a colorful stream of curses and put her hands up defensively. "Now Lee, let me take a moment to apologize before you do something drastic. I am truly sorry that I did that to Gai." She looked pained as she said it. "It was slander and I promise to keep my nose out of manners I do not understand. Alright?" She bowed her back to the audience, showing her crossed fingers. No one betrayed her.

Lee blinked, wound up his bandages and nodded. "Alright, it is quite understandable, many of you are jealous of the magnificance of Gai-sens-"

The ANBU rubbed her mask, feeling a headache coming on. "Sit Lee."

Lee frowned at having his rant cut off, but complied with the ANBU and sat in the chair.

"Alright, Lee" The ANBU stated as she got a manager offstage to heal her arm, "We all just want to know why...why would you imitate Gai-sensei..WHY?!?!?!"

She motioned towards him to shake his shoulders, but the healer kept her back shouting, "No! Your hand!"

Lee backed up a little at her strange actions and said. "Why do I dress and act like Gai-sensei you ask? He is one of my precious people, he taught me everything I know, and I wish to make him proud of me! His youth drives me to go on! His hip and modern youth posseses me!!!"

The ANBU was the one scared now, as well as most of the audience as a silence gripped them all. A silence so total you could just barely hear a "DATTEBAYO!" from across the village entirely. "Riiiiiiiiighhhht." The ANBU finally said, twitching a bit.

"I...I think you may take your leave Lee..." She was interrupted as another crew member rushed onstage, bearing a hastily scribbled note.

The ANBU scanned it and glanced around the audience, a small giggle escaping her lips. "We have a question from a member of the audience Lee."

The Green beast nodded "What do they wish to ask me?"

The ANBU gave another small giggle, her voice high pitched. "Boxers, or Briefs?"

The audience kept silent, a few sniggers, nothing more. Lee stood to face the crowd. "Who dares write this shameful question?" He asked, a hint of fury in his eyes.

"Actually Lee, this is a legitimite question, one I think we ALL want to know. What is going on under that spandex you and Gai wear?"

He turned to glare. "My undergarments are none of anyone's buisness."

The ANBU turned to face the crowd, her mike in her hands "Maybe he goes commando?"

Half the audience twitched while a few people 'eww'd. Lee frowned, eyes shut. "I would never!" He spouted indignantly.

"So just tell us, if not people will make assumptions." The ANBU said innocently.

"I refuse to answer, you are treading all over my honor!" He growled, hands into fists at his side.

"Or perhaps he and Gai wear thongs...that explains why there is no visible lines or why nothing is not showing through the skintight spandex." The ANBU reasoned to herself, off in her own little world.

Lee looked around, fury on his face. "This is slander, you have broken the promise you had made and I refuse to stand for this." He looked at all the ANBU which had appeared around him. "I will not take my vengeance out upon you here, but you will not be safe from me for a very long time." With that he sped away, a green blur.

The ANBU was terrified of what she had invoked, but she laughed, hiding it. "Whatever you say thong-boy. Alright, Next up we have Aburame Shino!

Several miles way

Gai had been sneezing randomly for the past few minutes.He sneezed once more and Iruka looked at him with concern. "Gai are you alright, you aren't getting sick are you?"

The Taijutsu specialist was about to respond, but Kakashi interrupted to his left, "Maybe people are talking about him." He suggested to the pair.

Gai shook his head, frowning. "I doubt it Kuh-kah-shi, It may be the dog hair of your house that is irritating my sinuses so."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Because your nose is so large, nothing can escape it's vortex."

"Damn you Kuh-kah-shi, and your modern insults!" The Green beast retaliated.

Iruka sighed and said evenly. "Stop bickering you two, and pass me the popcorn." The 'eternal rivals' shut up, while Kakashi handed Iruka the popcorn, Gai pressed play on the T.V; and the three snuggled closer under the blanket on the couch to watch the film.

Alrightie, now that this chapter is over with, I am excited about what the future will bring. Send me ideas for your favorite characters! They may just be in there nn


	5. Narcolepsy?

Alright this chapter is written by Stealer of Shino's Glasses...so I'll let her take over the introduction! Go SOSG! (posey pose of introductions)

Sosg: (Stealer of Shino's glasses) ello people! i wanted to help out and i luv shino so i thought i'd help out! wont this be fun?!

Shino: No.

Sosg: you're mean... but its not up to you weather you're in this chapter!

Shino: oh yea it is...

Sosg: then why are you here now?

Shino: ...

Sosg: I dont own Shino or Naruto, so XP

* * *

"Aburame Shino!" Everyone looked at the stotic ninja, as he stared up at the ANBU on stage. 

"Come on Shino!" She yelled at him.

Another ANBU appeared behind him, and removed her mask, grinning. "SHINO-KUN!" she shouted at the boy.

The Host ANBU on stage sweat-dropped. "Come on Shino, you are holding everyone up!"

The Second ANBU hugged Shino from behind only to be shrugged off, "I'm not going up there...I'm not even sure why I am here."

Kiba, sitting to his left, smirked. "Why won't you go up there bug freak?" He asked. "Cause you're scared?"

"No." Said Shino.

Annoyed murmurs spread throughout the room. "Will you do it for me?'' the ANBU behind him asked.

"Let me think..." Shino paused."No."

The ANBU on stage pulled a 'facepalm' before saying into the mike. "Can you get him up here Kunara?"

"Of Course!" Said the ANBU behind Shino.

Shino was fast, but ANBU are quicker.

Kunara grabbed his arm and appeared on stage, with the bug boy in tow.

"I hate it when you do that." Shino muttered.

"So Shino!" The Host ANBU said chipperly.

"..." was his reply.

"The Question everyone has been dying to know..."

"..."

"What's under those glasses?"

". . ."

"Come on Shino!" said Kunara, "Everyone wants to know!"

The audience nodded in agreement. What in earth could the Aburames' be hiding?

Shino sat very still, saying nothing.

"Kunara, you are going to have to remove them then." The host ANBU said, peeved that Shino would refuse to answer.

Shino twitched, but did nothing more. Kunara went for Shino's glasses, but tripped on the mike cord and almost fell, knocking Shino over in the process.

"OMG I'm sorry!" Kunara exclaimed.

Shino had fallen to the stage, and was not moving.A collective gasp was heard from the crowd.

"You Killed him!" the ANBU said, gaping.

"AH! I didn't mean to!"

A figure appeared on the stage, behind the pair of panicky ANBU. "There he is." The man said calmly.

Aburame Shibi stepped out of the shadow, which made the two ANBU freak out more.

"I sorry I didn't mean to kill him!!!" Shouted Kunara.

"It was Kunara's fault!!!" The host ANBU shrieked, which earned a glare from Kunara.

"Kill him? He's sleeping." Shibi said.

"Huh?' Asked both girls, confused.

Shino let loose a very Un-Shino like snore as his father picked him up off the stage. "Aburame secret." Shibi explained before he dissapeared with Shino in his arms.

"What secret, Narcolepsy?" The ANBU said to the crowd dryly.

"Who knows?" Kunara muttered.

"Well next up, we have got Jiraiya-sama!!!" The Host ANBU said as she let loose a small stream of confetti.

* * *

KZ: OMG YOU KILLED SHINO! YOU BAKADOU!

Sosg: uh... no, I didnt...

KZ: so you say...

Sosg: he was sleeping idiot...

KZ: oh, then I'll have to cancel his funeral then...(looks at the many ongoers for Shino's funeral) get lost..

Sosg: If his father hears about this, he'll kill you...

Shibi: YOU KILLED MY SON?!? RAWR!!!!(chases after KZ with a kunai)

Shino: (off sleeping somewhere) zzzz...

KZ: SOSG help me! (runs away from Shibi)

Sosg: Hmm... I wonder where shino is... (wanders off to go find him)

* * *


	6. An 'assistant'

Welcome to the next chapter! Have a cookie for sticking with me! n.n

Naruto is not mine nor SOSG if it were, everyone would be gay XD

* * *

The Confetti was being swept off by a stagehand while the Toad Sannin sauntered onto the stage, a smirk as big as Suna on his face. 

The host ANBU motioned to a chair and sat in one across from him. "Jiraiya, welcome! We are honored to have you here." She wriggled slightly in her seat.

Jiraiya leaned forward. "The pleasure is all mine." He smiled charmingly at her. The crowd seemed rather confused.

"Jiraiya-sama; what is your inspiration for writing your books?" the ANBU asked, as the crowd sweatdropped. They had wanted juicy gossip and scandals, not an simple interview!

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow and then, with a smirk to rival Sasugay's ( sorry Sasuke's)He said, "All the beautiful women of Konoha of course."

The crowd had begun to mutter amongst themselves sourly.

the ANBU seems to be ignoring them entirely, and she nodded, continuing, "So are you perhaps looking for an assistant or secretary by any chance?" She flipped her head slightly moving a piece of spiky orange hair out of the way of her mask.

The crowd perked up a bit at that. Was this going to be interesting...

"Actually I need a full time assistant. I am on the road quite often as all ninja, and it gets difficult to write all my ideas down..." He admitted.

The ANBU practically leaped up, and whistled shrilly. Kunara re-appeared and the host ANBU threw the mike at her. "Kunara you are in charge. I think I will be back in around 45 minutes to an hour. Jiraiya, about that job..." She grabbed his hand and walked offstage with him. The crowd's eyebrows (and places where eyebrows should be for those eyebrow-less folks XD) were to their hairlines as they watched the pair walk off.

Kunara gave a disturbed shudder and said. "Alrightie then, who's next?"

* * *

Short and strangely interesting...hmmm. we will find out more about the mysterious host ANBU later, now we have Kunara hosting, what will this unfold! TUNE IN!!! 


	7. Christmas! XDD

SOSG: It's me again Woot! Well... I don't have much to say...

Naruto: Which is a first.

KZ: XD

SOSG: XP say the disclaimer

Naruto: She doesn't own anything Dattebayo!

* * *

Key

**Bold** exclamation

_Italicized_ super emphasis

Underlined clarification

* * *

Kunara shook her head, "That idiotic ANBU. Anyways, I got a new jutsu to bring the next guest in! It's a summon for people!"

She performed several handsigns before putting her hands to the stage. "I summon Naruto!"

And Naruto was there...well A Naruto was. Kunara bent down and picked up the fish-meat cake that was Naruto.

"Hehe...oops." With Various stares pointed in her direction, Kunara bit her lip and tried again.

"I summon Uzumaki Naruto!"

With a poof, the real Naruto sat there on the stage, confused...

**_AND IN A BRIGHT GREEN TUX?!?!?! _**

"Ahh!" Kunara screamed, flinching.

Most of the people in the audience recoiled in fear at the sight.

"Hinata-chan?" asked Naruto, looking around. "Where am I?"

"Uh...h-hey Naruto." said Kunara, "T-thats right, you were on a ...date with Hinata right?"

"Yea, what's the big idea?!" Naruto asked angrily, "I was here earlier!"

Kunara remembered something and laughed. "I saw Hinata-chan earlier with a red kimono on. I bet you two looked like Christmas had come early."

Once getting Naruto's neon tux, the crowd began to talk amongst themselves.

"...Red?" asked Naruto slowly.

Kunara froze for a moment. "Yes Naruto, she was wearing red..."

"No she wasn't, she was wearing grey!" Everyone stopped talking right then.

Kunara opened her mouth, but closed it. "..." When she tried speaking this time, her voice worked. "N-naruto?"

"Huh?" the blond asked her.

"Would you mind telling me what color your tuxedo is?" Kunara asked politely.

Naruto stared down at his bright green tux before staring back at Kunara. "Grey."

"Well I'll be damned, he _is_ colorblind." Kunara muttered to herself. "Can't wait to tell her about this!"

"What?! I'm not colorblind!" Naruto yelled angrily.

Kunara looked out to the audience. "Can I have a box of markers?" She asked the ninja crowd.

Suddenly, more than half the people took out a marker and held it up in the air. "It looks like a rainbow!" Kunara exclaimed, her eyes big and sparkly.

"I'm not colorblind!" Naruto insisted.

"Toss me up a few will ya?" asked Kunara.

The ANBU girl got pelted with what seemed like an impossible amount of markers. "OW!" She yelled, covering her head.

After the throwing of the markers ceased, Kunara stood up, dusting herself off. "What kind of Ninja carry around Crayola washable markers?! And then throw them at an ANBU Black Op.?!" She yelled to the audience, pissed off. After calming down a bit, she turned back to Naruto, who was busy doodling on his hand with an orange marker he had picked up.

"Naruto what is the color of the marker you are using?" Kunara asked the Kyuubi container.

"Grey." He muttered, not looking up.

"What about that one?" Kunara inquired, pointing to a green one near his foot.

Naruto looked at it. "Grey what's your point?!" He asked getting agitated.

"And that one over there?" Kunara pointed to a yellow.

"Whoa, that's a bright grey!" The blond exclaimed.

"Yep," Kunara held up the mike to her mouth. "You heard it from here first! Uzumaki Naruto is indeed colorblind!"

"No I'm not damnit!" Naruto growled at Kunara. The crowd was quite quiet.

"That would explain the outfit." Kunara muttered into the mike, which got everyone talking.

"I'm not blind Dattebayo!!" Naruto practically screamed.

"No you aren't Naruto, you are colorblind, there is a difference." Kunara explained, a finger in the air.

Naruto stood up, "I won't stand for this! I'm going back to my date with Hinata-chan Beli- I mean- Dattebayo!" and he disappeared with a poof.

Kunara sighed, kicking some of the markers out of her way. "Who's next?"

* * *

KZ: finally! I managed to upload a chapter!

SOSG: took you long enough...

KZ: hey, at least we finished the fic, so there will be no writer's block!

SOSG: only the author's procrastination...

KZ: " fine fine, I'll get right on it...after I eat the thanksgiving dinner.

KZ and SOSG: Happy Thanksgiving!

KZ: and to all you Canadians... Happy Belated Thanksgiving! and to-

SOSG and Naruto: (beat KZ up) SHUT UP DATTEBAYO!


	8. An Inner Rampage

KZ: welcome once again, I trust you all are having a lovely December?

SOSG: (is still out cold from eating too much turkey) zzzzzzzzzz...

KZ: anyways...(lightly kicks SOSG out of the way) We do not own Naruto...at all (cries)

Key: **boldinner Sakura**

* * *

The Host ANBU poofed back onto the stage and was about to scream out a greeting, when she slipped on a marker and fell flat on her rear end. She got up and glared at Kunara. "What the hell, Kunara?! I leave for less then ten minutes and it looks like a horde of A.D.D. kindergarteners just tore through here like Vikings in a coastal village! What's with all the markers?!"

"Ha, why don't you just ask the audience?!" Kunara said, crossing her arms and huffing, "Finished with Jiraiya you perv?" She asked.

"The audience...? Did...did they throw all these at you?" The host ANBU laughed. "What on earth did you do to get markers thrown at you?! More importantly why the hell do all of you even have markers in the first place?!" She asked the crows which stayed quite silent.

She then huffed herself at Kunara's question. "Yes. We settled the terms rather well. On days when both of us don't have missions, I'll be following him around, taking notes and being his own personal typewriter basically."

"Oh Joy." Kunara said sarcastically, handing her friend the mike. "So who are we doing next? Oh by the way, did you know Naruto was colorblind?"

The ANBU shook her head, "No, but it isn't all that surprising, after all, the boy wears orange. Also, his wardrobe has more color than a rainbow...Oh, who's next, right? ... It's Sakura's turn!"

"Huh?" The pink haired girl asked from the crowd.

"Get up here." Kunara said plainly.

"No Thanks!" Sakura shouted over the crowd.

"Get up there Billboard brow!" was heard.

"No way Ino Pig!!" Sakura screamed at Ino.

"Don't go back on your promise or I will too!" Ino warned.

"A promise? Sounds interesting." Kunara muttered.

Sakura's eyes turned to little white circles. ""You'd better not go back on your side of the promise if I do this Ino Pig!" Sakura seethed.

"Don't worry Billboard brow, I won't." Ino reassured.

**"CHA!!! Here I go then!!!"** Sakura 'Supah-Mega-Ultra-Inner-Sakura-Punch'ed her way through the crowd, leaving a path of destruction and knocked out people.

Both the Host ANBU and Kunara stared wide eyed as "Sakura" jumped up on stage.

"Uh...I believe it's your turn." said Kunara to her ANBU friend. "Lemme go check up on Shino...or Naruto...or someone..." and she poofed away.

The remaining ANBU let out a fluent stream of curses and sheepishly backed away from Sakura. "Erm...S-sakura-san? Why did you just punch 3/4 of your fellow ninja?"

**"I'm not going to go back on my bet, CHA!"** she yelled, punching a fist into the air.

"That...that really didn't explain anything sakura..."The ANBU said nervously.

**"So, what's my first question?!"**

The ANBU fell to the stage. She got up and sweatdropped. "Besides the one you keep avoiding? Erm...Why do you continuously chase Sasuke?"

**"Cause Sasuke is the coolest! Even though he may be an asshole to the rest of my friends! He seriously needs to stop doing that!"** She yelled.

The ANBU's eyes went wide under the mask. "Sakura, I have honestly never seen you like this..."

**"Which brings me to Ino Pig! I so totally miss her, but I must have Sasuke first!" **

Although no one really saw of heard it, Ino gasped. The ANBU blinked a bit and was about to ask another question but Sakura kept on going.

**"Which brings me to her teammates, who are about 2 seconds away from making out with each other every time they are together!!! GET A ROOM GUYS!"**

A few people (those lucky ninja who managed to not be in Sakura's destruction path) looked at Shikamaru and Chouji, one of whom was looking up at the sky through a window in the roof, the other eating a bag of chips; light blushes gracing both their faces.

**"And Asuma-sensei is such a Jerk! If he wouldn't smoke around his girlfriend, she would hate him less!"**

The team ten sensei stared at Sakura, his 'smoke' falling out of his mouth. "Hate me less?" He asked bewildered, "She hates me??"

The ANBU was holding in a bit of laughter for team 10, trying her hardest to avoid bad notice from Sakura. "W-what do you think of Lee and Naruto's constant battle for your love? And now that Naruto has Hinata, what are your reactions?" She managed to say straight faced.

**"Lee?!"** she practically screamed, **"That weirdo?! I mean yeah he works really hard and stuff, but before he comes to me he needs to get rid of the Gai get up. I'm not going to date a clone, or a weird clone at that! And Naruto! Dattebayo this and believe it that, I've had enough of your stupid catch phrases! Say it one more time and I'll slug you!! And I feel so sorry for Hinata! I don't see what she sees in that idiot! God knows how long it took him to actually notice her, but if it keeps even one girl away from my Sasuke, then by all means she can go ahead!!"**

The ANBU looked out to the crowd, quite shocked at the usually mild-mannered Sakura's statements. "Erm...thank you very much for that..._enlightening_ interview Sakura...you can go now."

**"I ain't finished yet lady!!"** She yelled at the ANBU, a tick mark on her forehead.

**"Let's move onto Hinata's team! Shino is so friggen creepy; I don't know what Kunara sees in him either! I mean he's infested with BUGS for god's sake!!!" **

**"And Kiba! Acts more like his dog then his dog does! You're almost as annoying as Naruto, always yelling and screaming this or that! Shut the hell up dog boy!"**

...Unfortunately, Kiba had been caught in Inner Sakura's 'quest' to get on stage. He was still out cold, and twitching.

Shino,... was now awake and trying to figure out where he was... after a few moments he went back to sleep.

**"And Kurenai-sensei, I respect you and all, but for god's sake you act more like Hinata then you think! Everyone except or Naruto and maybe Kiba knows you are going out for Asuma! Face the facts, you are not good at lying when it comes to him!"**

Kurenai's face was now bright red, nearly matching her eyes. Was she that obvious with him?

**"And Gai-sensei wherever you are, just know one thing... YOU ARE FREAKIN' WEIRD!!!" ** She huffed before continuing.

** "Tenten! What kind of a name is that?! And lemme guess, is your last name twentytwenty?!"**

Tenten frowned. She liked her name...

**"Neji! I swear if you EVER say anything about destiny again I'll make sure you won't talk for a while!" **

Neji ...unfortunately had _also_ been caught in the Inner Sakura Storm. He opened his eyes at the sound of his name, but too late, for Sakura had already moved on.

**"Kakashi-sensei! The _latest_ sensei I have ever met! Gimme one more excuse and you'll get what's coming to ya! And FOR GOD'S SAKE put down the porn and take off the mask! People want to know Sensei, people want to know!"**

**"And you!" ** Sakura said, pointing to the ANBU, **"You little-"**

Sakura cut herself off, her eyes no longer little white circles. She looked at the mostly injured crowd, then back at the ANBU. "D-did I say all of that out loud?"

She didn't give the ANBU a chance to answer as she quickly said. "I've got to go." and sprinted off the stage.

The ANBU took in a deep breath she didn't realize she had been holding and let it out in a sigh. "W-well time to revive everyone...again." the ANBU pressed her hands to the ground. "I Summon Kunara!"

Then she whapped the aforementioned girl on the head the second she arrived. "I can't believe you left me alone with her! Come on, we've got to get everyone conscious again."

Kunara rubbed her head. "ow."'' she muttered., before jumping into the crowd. She noticed Neji was staring up at the sky. "Uh...Neji?" She asked him.

"She's not coming back is she? She is sort of scary..." He said blankly.

"I know...hopefully she won't be coming back, like that at least." Kunara helped Neji stand. "Come on, help us get everyone up..."

* * *

The ANBU smiled sheepishly at the newly revived and grumbling crowd. "Sorry guys... hopefully our next interview will be calmer." 

A stagehand, bedraggled and lightly singed, walked onto the stage and said, "We've got...Sasuke..." before falling unconscious.

"Oh great." The ANBU sighed.

* * *

KZ: whew that took a while to write (flexes fingers) alright! let us know what you think!

* * *


	9. Mary Sasue?

KZ: Alright, I finally got off my fat lazy butt to write this chapter up!

Neji: Summer is almost over, what have you been doing?

KZ: well, Summer Reading, Band Camp, Pre Band Camp, Practicing for Pre-Band Camp, oh did I mention that this one time, at Band Camp...

Neji: Shut up! You are infuriating!!

KZ: love you too Neji...

I don't own Naruto, for if I did, Sasuke would not live to be dressed in a butt-bow.

* * *

"Oh cool!" Kunara said, snatching the mike from the host ANBU. "My turn!!" She sang, an evil aura radiating off of her as she jumped onto the stage.

"Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!!" Was yelled from offstage, and a stage hand was thrown over Kunara like a rag doll.

"Get out here you big baby!" Kunara said half into the mike before disappearing backstage.

The Host ANBU ducked a barrage of fireballs and hopped back into the chair, moving it a bit out of harm's way. "This will be fun." she said, sitting down to watch the show.

Kunara dragged a thrashing Sasuke onto the stage and let him go. The boy sat up, and crossed his arms. "OK Sasuke," Kunara began happily, "I only have one question for you!"

"I won't answer it! Why do we do this anyway? It's retarded!!" The Uchiha exclaimed from the floor.

"I'll ask the questions thank you." Retorted Kunara, pulling out a piece of paper. She began to read, "Now let's see...Is it true that you are jealous of Hinata because she got to Naruto first?...Wait..."

Sasuke turned red, either out of anger or embarrassment... it was really hard to tell which.

"Wait...that was Sakura's question, sorry." explained Kunara. She looked at the red-faced Sasuke. "Although, we might have to come back to that topic later." She said under her breath with interest. The dark ANBU took out another piece of paper. "Ah, here it is...So Sasuke, how does it feel to be a Mary-Sue?" She asked.

"What?" Sasuke asked, confused, the red disappearing off his face.

"A Mary-Sue, you know; everything revolves around her, and everyone likes her, and she falls in love with the main character." Kunara explained, muttering the last part.

"I'm not a Mary-Sue" He shouted.

"Yes Sasuke, I'm afraid you are." Kunara said, nodding her head solemnly.

"Well then prove it." He retorted, smirking.

"I will." Kunara pulled out a remote with a button. She pressed it and a Giant screen lowered itself until it was floating over both Kunara and Sasuke.

"I present to you: Sasuke, The Mary Sue; made by ANBU productions."

"What the hell? When did you make this?" The Host ANBU adjusted her seat so she could see it better, staring at the screen in shock.

"All it took was a PowerPoint, and Uchiha photo album, a camera, and a big screen." Kunara said matter-of-factly. "All right let's get started!!"

"Wait an Uchiha photo album?!" Sasuke screeched.

Kunara pressed the button again and a picture of Sasuke as a little kid came up onto the screen.

"Awwwwwwww..." Most of the audience exclaimed.

"The perfect little kid with a perfect little life, the star of the family and school. Until..." She pressed the button again and it showed a pissed off Itachi reaching for the camera. "Dun dun dunnnnnnnn! Disaster strikes!!"

"Itachi slew the family, and told Sasuke that he didn't have enough hatred. But, instead of becoming 100 angsty, he; amazingly, was the top of his class, the Idol of many girls, Mr. Angsty-Cool."

Kunara pushed the button, showing a large group of girls chasing after Sasuke.

The Host ANBU snorted with laughter as several audience members ducked their heads in shame as they saw themselves chasing Sasuke in that photo. "How did you get these?" She whispered to Kunara.

"I have my sources." Kunara whispered smugly.

Sasuke was glaring daggers at the two ANBU, but was ignored.

Kunara once again clicked the button, showing a picture of Naruto's Sexy-No-Jutsu. "Whoa, when did that get in there?" asked Kunara.

About 5 spurts of blood were seen in the audience, and somewhere in a far away restaurant, a "Dattebayo!!" was shouted.

"Oh damn he got me again." Kunara sighed, sweatdropping.

"..." The Host ANBU frowned evilly. "I'll get him for making me revive everyone...again..." The ANBU poofed into the audience, reviving those out quickly; before poofing away.

"Okay then..." Kunara said, clicking the button again, showing a picture of the Sharingan. " This is the Sharingan."

"How the HELL did you get a picture like that?!" Sasuke practically screamed.

"The Sharingan used to find weak spots in people's techniques. They also can _copy other people's moves." _Kunara went on, glaring at Sasuke. "Which is why, if the off chance he fights Shino, Sasuke will be pwned! Shino has nothing to copy, unless Sasuke walks around with a bug collection in that huge collar of his."

The stage manager behind the set groaned. "Kunara, not another Shino idolization rant...that's the third one this month"

Kunara held up her hands. "No Mr. Stage Manager Sir, I won't rant again, I was just saying..." She turned her attention back to Sasuke. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"You're crazy." Sasuke said cooly.

Kunara's eye twitched. "No I'm not."

"Uh-huh suure." said both Sasuke and the stage manager.

"I love you Sasuke!!" Ino yelled, Sakura was still M.I.B... I mean M.I.A.

Sasuke smirked at Kunara, and she glared back,

"Stupid Mary Sue." She muttered.

That instant the Host ANBU came back in with a bright green pair of tuxedo pants and a smirk on her face. "Yosh I win!"

The crowd was silent, even that one lone cricket was quiet. "...Hehe...sorry..." The Host ANBU rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

"You're gonna scar Hinata...for life." Kunara chastised, looking at the ANBU. "Anyways, I' finished with Sasuke. I'm afraid I might hit him."

Sasuke smirked. "I-"

Kunara slapped Sasuke across the face. "Okay, I'm satisfied, get him off the stage."

The ANBU shoved Sasuke off the stage into the crowd. "Alrightie then, Who's next?!"

* * *

Heeheee I did it! Finally! I'll get the next chappie up within the next 7 days... sorry I fail! BYE!!


	10. Piggy likes WHO?

Well here we go, another chapter, since the last one wasn't good enough to appease you people...

Sasuke: Bashing me only leads to disaster, you should know this by now...

SOSG: no, no one reads NATF, so your bashing has just gone un-noticed...

Sasuke: Liar!!

SOSG: SAS-GAY!!

Sasuke: I will kill you!! (le flying tackle)

KZ:...okay moving on, we don't own Naruto... but watching is very fun...

* * *

"Ino!" Kunara shouted, still pissed off a bit about Sasuke.

"It's my turn already?" The blonde asked. "Sakura isn't even back yet!" Then Ino thought about it. "Sakura isn't back yet...let's go ahead and do it, really quickly, before she does get back!!" She stood as she said this.

"I handled Sasuke, you get the Sasuke fan." Kunara tossed the mike to the Host ANBU. "I need a cookie" and once again, Kunara was gone.

Ino stepped onto the stage, silently cursing. "I can't believe I agreed to do this" She muttered, "...with Sasuke here no less!"

The ANBU peered down at Sasuke, who seemed ready to let a Chidori fly for being kicked off the stage onto the floor, and then her focus returned to Ino. "I don't think you are actually on his mind at the moment, and if he acts on what IS on his mind, he won't be here much longer. So behave Sa-Sue!" She glared at the Uchiha, and then said louder and into the mike. "I don't get what you see in him Ino."

Ino seemed to get mad, but took a deep breath. "I don't see anything in him... That's why I never liked him."

Everyone stared at her, including the Host ANBU and Sasuke. "You... don't like him?" asked the Host ANBU slowly.

"No, I have my eyes on another." She sighed dreamily.

Everyone in the audience leaned forward to the point of falling over. Who could Ino possibly want more then Sasuke?

"Uzumaki Naruto!!" Ino squeed loudly.

"WHAT?!" Yelled the ANBU, Sasuke, and the entire audience as they all fell over.

Ino flipped back her hair and winked. "Blondes do have more fun." She giggled, eye twitching ever so minutely.

"...A love triangle then!!" The ANBU recovered, standing with a flourish of her free hand to Ino. "Ino... What about Hinata? She and Naruto just hooked up!! Are you jealous?"

"Hinata doesn't deserve someone like him. No, but I do!!"

Sasuke stared up at Ino. One of his biggest fangirls, in love with that dobe? He felt something burning in his chest. Was he...Jealous?... Nah, just the after affects of his Jutsu. Too many fire-Jutsu are bad for your chest.

A girl in strange clothing and glasses hopped in front of Sasuke, holding a box close to her face. "Fire Jutsu got you burning? Then use Prilosec OTC! Gets rid of Jutsu burn fast!! Side effects include Headache, Abdominal Pain, Diarrhea, Dizziness, Constipation, and Back Pain. Will not help Jealousy, fear, of any other emotions, so look for therapy Duck-Butt!!" She thrust the package into his hands and was gone with a purple smoke cloud.

Sasuke twitched slightly, and looked around. It seemed no one noticed the girl was even there, so he, not knowing why, pocketed the 'Prilosec' and then continued to glare at Ino...That traitor.

The ANBU grinned. "Well we could always summon Hinata here and see how she feels about you liking her man." The ANBU began to perform the same Jutsu Kunara used. "I summon Hyuuga Hina- "

"What?" asked Ino, panicky. 'Sakura's gonna die.' She thought, angrily, closing her eyes. "You really don't have to!!"

The ANBU froze a second before releasing her Chakra. "Why? Don't you want to fight for him? He is your love after all..."

"Naruto's nice and all, but there is no need to call Hinata here..." Ino said, holding her hands up.

"But you said you loved him, there must be a chosen couple, so there has to be a fight for it! The crowd wants it to happen, and I'm agreeing with them!" She pointed out to the masses all cheering "Fight, Fight, Fight!!"

"I...I...I can't take this anymore!! Ino screamed.

"Good, admit your feelings and face your love rival, it's the first step and you'll feel better doing it." The ANBU chirped.

"Feel better...? I'm talking about something else!!" Ino threw her hands up. "I don't like Naruto you idiots! I can't believe you would actually think that I would follow Sasuke for all these years, and just say that, that was a lie!!" She looked at Sasuke sweetly.

"I'm sure Sasuke saw right through it, right?"

Sasuke nodded solemnly. Of course... He knew it all along.

The ANU went still for about three seconds, and then she dove at the Blonde, throttling her. "THEN WHY SAY IT IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU IDIOT?!" She began to rant, about wanting a good show and lying blonde bitches, her day off and too much sake, when an explosion hit the roof of the building, tearing a large section of it off. "Art is a Bang, Un!" was heard through the chaos.

* * *

Cliffhanger, un though you probably know who it is right, un? XD

Alright, drop me a review... they are fun and I enjoy reading them...please?


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